Some Other Duty
by MissFire
Summary: Leia struggles to prioritize: should her mind be occupied with thoughts of Han or of her duties as a New Republic Ambassador? A ONE SHOT set right before The Courtship of Princess Leia


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars...because if I did, the prequels would have included a young Han Solo! ...or at least, his parents...or some connection to him other than Chewie - though don't get me wrong, seeing Chewie in the prequels was nice, but Han would've been nicer...

Author's Note: Set right before _The Courtship of Princess Leia_...

**Some Other Duty**

"I'm a simple woman."

"I _am_," Winter corrected. "And you might want to think about using the word 'being' instead of 'woman'...it's a little more friendly to the many species you will be addressing."

"I am a simple being."

Winter frowned. "Well, maybe that sentence should just be scrapped altogether."

I matched her expression, frowning as I ran the sentence in my mind one more time. _I am a simple being_. "I suppose we should," I conceded. "Who's going to believe that a once-princess, whose brother is a Jedi and whose father was Darth Vader, is a 'simple being,' anyway?"

My assistant – who was so much more than assistant, being my friend and confidant more importantly than all else – smiled, her light eyes sparkling with humor. "That's putting it nicely."

Sighing, I sat down in an oversized chair, curling my legs under me. I watched Winter work on the datapad, furiously scribbling out the line and tapping the stylus against the pad as she strived to create a new introductory line. She sat at the table on the other side of my state room, earnestly helping me prepare for the coming day.

But I was tired. I was tired of trying to please everyone; there are so many different people to please! We all want to stand on equal footing with one another, all sentient species of the galaxy looking to each other and meeting the others' gaze eye-to-eye. But some have such different ideas how that will be achieved. I just don't know how our differences will be reconciled. "Compromise" is one of the first words that enter my speeches...some beings don't understand what I mean.

A ghost of a smile touched my lips as I realized that my defeatist attitude was getting the best of me.

"One simple speech may not make a difference."

"But it might."

Winter's gentle insistence was enough to remind me that I had a duty to fulfill.

I had never realized that creating a new government would be so...hard. _Joining the Rebellion was the easy part_, the admission resurrecting that same faint smile to my lips. "It was easier when we knew where to hide and who to shoot at."

"Watch it," Winter chided softly. "With the addition of some choice curse words, you'll start sounding like General Solo."

Han.

Han was so far away, commanding his own battle group, fighting the likes of Zsinj. These Imperial Warlords that were scrabbling for their own bit of power, their own piece of the Empire. It seemed that each new day brought forth some new warlord, or Grand Moff that was aching to have his share. Zsinj was a wild-card, but the New Republic's attentions had no other true direction since the death of Isard.

Shock trickled into my mind and dull ache squeezed my heart. Hadn't I been thinking of Han? Are my attentions so quickly turned from him? Are my thoughts so easily led astray?

I haven't seen him in what seems to be such a long time.

He would have enjoyed my diplomacy mission to the Hapes. At least, I think he would have. It's not as though Han and I have ever had the chance to experience recreational vacationing. The world of Hapes itself was the most beautiful. So much like Alderaan.

The people, of course, were of a completely different mind-set; that, though, made traveling among them so very interesting. With a galaxy as vast as ours – and not neglecting to mention the number of species that inhabits it – a matriarchy is not a rare thing, by any means. But it was a refreshing look at life. It reminded me why the Empire had to be challenged...and defeated. Different ways of life should be embraced and respected – not whipped and scourged, as they were under the Emperor's fist.

I enjoyed my trip...the world, the people, the way of life...so much.

I could feel my cheeks redden with what had to have been shame. I don't seem to give Han as much thought as I used to.

_I'm just tired_, the rationalization formed in my mind quickly. Self-defense mechanisms can be wonderful things. If I was more rested and not so anxious about the impending visit of the Hapes Consortium, then I would devote more time to think of Han.

Wasn't he scheduled to come back to Coruscant soon, anyway?

"Winter," I began.

I must have broke the quiet serenity of the room rather unexpectedly, because she looked up from the datapad, clearly startled by my voice. "Yes, Leia?"

"Isn't General Solo scheduled to return to Coruscant with his command-ships?"

She smiled slightly. "Yes, he is. Tomorrow is his expected arrival."

"Tomorrow?" Dismay filtered through my voice without my mind's consent. "Those of the Hapes Consortium are arriving tomorrow as well, correct?"

"Yes." Winter resumed working on the datapad.

Immediately, a thousand things that I should be doing to prepare raced through my mind, occupying all of the empty niches and crevices that were previously devoted to my dallying and day-dreaming about the world of Hapes.

Han was steadily being pushed to the most inactive parts of my consciousness.

Why, in the name of the Force, did I feel so guilty?

"Winter, there was a list I had made of preparations that must be completed before their arrival. Where is it?"

"Here," Winter said, handing a different datapad to me. "As you can see, all prep work has been done." She looked up with a smile, "All you have to do is look pretty."

"And sound as – if not, _more_ – pretty," I said, pointing toward the datapad with the speech's fluffy and yearning appeals blazing brightly from its screen. "I'll finish this, Winter. I know you have other things you could be doing."

She looked up brightly, but her brightness faltered, when she questioned, "Are you sure?"

I shook my head. "Of course, I'm sure," I said, hoping I sounded more sincere than I thought I did.

Obviously, I didn't. Winter's features contorted with skepticism. "Leia, is everything alright? You don't seem to be yourself."

"I'm just a bit out of sorts this evening," I answered quickly. "Nothing a bit of sleep won't fix."

She didn't move from where she stood by the table. "Go on, Winter," I insisted. "I'm just a little nervous about tomorrow."

She nodded, saying, "Of course." She moved toward the door, adding softly as she keyed the lock, "Call me if you need anything."

And then she was gone.

And I was alone.

With nothing but my thoughts.

None of which...included Han.

_A brisk walk to the docking bay should brighten my spirits_, I thought hastily. As Winter had said, most of my preparations are done. I would go on a walk to clear my head, maybe get a little something to eat and then return to practice that speech.

Hopefully the Hapes would be impressed. The New Republic was in such dire need of financial backing. The Hapes would satisfy all our wants, if they requested membership. The Hapes star cluster was rich in materiel, resources, and extravagant wealth. The New Republic desperately needed their resources...and the Hapes Consortium desperately needed to be impressed.

I hope that I'm up to the task.

My flagship, _Rebel Dream_, is not a large-class ship by any stretch of the imagination, but the walk to the docking bay is just enough exercise that allows me to feel as though I have actually done some work.

I was just beginning to feel a little better when I saw it:

The _Millennium Falcon_, where Han had put it in dry-dock while being on-duty.

And thoughts of Han flooded my head, washing over me, and I drowned in their intensity. How would it be to see him again, after so long? Did he miss me?

Did I miss him?

The thought caught me by surprise. I _did _miss him. _No_, I thought stubbornly, _I _do _miss him_.

But the searing pain that the thought inflicted left a burning sensation in my chest, all the same. I willed it to go away.

And gradually, it did. But it was replaced by that dull ache of before when I realized, to my horror, that I was having a hard time trying to picture him. I closed my eyes, trying to recall the crook of his smile, the scandalous look that entered his eyes when a particularly sly retort came to his mind. The image was there...but it was fuzzy.

I wanted to cry. _The New Republic is tearing us apart!_, I wanted to shout. I hadn't realized that his absence was such a strong force for my attention. And I had never allowed it center-stage. Han, my love, was important, but he was never allowed to be my priority. There was always something more to do, some other duty to fulfill.

Some other duty.

With a ragged sigh, I pushed away my emotions. I cherish Han dearly, but the New Republic had to come first.

I turned around, heading back to my state-room.

I had a speech to write.

But I vaguely wondered while walking back...if perhaps Han was thinking of me, as I was of him.

* * *

A/N: So? What did you think? It's actually kind of depressing, I know...but please, review! I don't commonly write first-person, so I'd love to know what you think! 


End file.
